#81 Sweet Sixty: Ageing My Way

With her 60th birthday just days away, Kelly reflects on what it feels like to reach this milestone - and why growing older doesn't necessarily mean feeling older.

She shares an entertaining story on what happened when she was offered a "free" skin consultation...  and her thoughts on ageing, longevity, osteoporosis, Botox and fillers, and where she finds herself now in the Queen stage of life - with the deeper wisdom of the Crone beginning to emerge.

There's also a countdown of Kelly's 10 personal secrets to looking and feeling younger.

This is an episode about embracing age rather than resisting it - looking after your body, mind and spirit, keeping your energy young, gathering wisdom along the way, and feeling excited about the years still to come.

The episode ends with an opportunity to reflect on the age you are right now - to see yourself through the eyes of your future self, appreciate how young you are today, and feel gratitude for the gift of another year of life.

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Project Me Podcast

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Read the Transcript for this Episode below:

  Episode 81 of the Project Me Podcast

Hi, I'm Kelly Pietrangeli, and this podcast is designed to be an entertaining, inspirational, personal growth journey. Each episode goes in a mostly chronological order as I piece together the books, modalities, people, and experiences that have fallen onto my life path exactly when I needed them, and how often I resisted the very things I needed the most or didn't see the gifts contained in the challenges until later.

By sharing my stories, I hope to inspire you to reflect on your life path. What are the seeming coincidences that have led you to where you are today? What are the hidden gifts within your challenges? And what magic is out there waiting for you as you let go of resistance and follow your own breadcrumb trail?

At the end of each short episode, there's an opportunity for you to breathe and reflect on how my story relates to your own life. You can find more inspiration on my website, kellypietrangeli.com.

Hello, hello. It's my 60th birthday in just a few days, and I thought it would be good to record a new episode around my thoughts on aging, longevity, osteoporosis, Botox and fillers, and being very firmly in the queen stage of life. Not yet a crone, but certainly connecting to that deeper wisdom that's emerging.

I also wanna tell you about Medicine Festival, if I've got time at the end. I just attended that in the English countryside with my husband, Luca. It was really something else. I haven't properly had a chance to process it yet, so we'll see at the end whether I feel like there's time for me to share anything about that yet or not.

I am definitely in a very celebratory mood this week. In fact, my word of the summer is celebrate, and I feel it is very important to celebrate that I've been gifted another decade of life. In the past 10 years, I've lost some very dear friends who did not make it to 60, and it makes me even more appreciative of every year of life I'm blessed to have.

It is the Year of the Fire Horse, which hasn't happened since 1966, the year of my birth, and I do feel these powerful energies. I'm calling this my Sweet 60 party, and many dear friends, old friends, are flying into Ibiza for the celebrations, along with newer friends who also live on this beautiful island.

And my two grown sons are flying in. My eldest is a DJ, as is my husband, so they'll be playing a back-to-back set, and I'll be dancing my socks off for sure. And the hours of my party are 6:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m., which are my ideal dream hours for partying these days. Reflecting back 10 years ago, I was turning 50.

I had just moved back to London from Madrid with the kids, and I remember I was in full-blown moving house, new school mode, and with a book publishing deadline looming. In these past 10 years, I have seen my two boys grow up, graduate from university, start their careers, and evolve into amazing, independent young men.

I've moved house two more times, manifested our dream home in Ibiza, traveled to new places, met some wonderful new friends, and deepened my connection to old friends. I've discovered my soul plan, pivoted in my business. I've overcome a lot of self-limiting beliefs, healed past wounds, established a new relationship with my mother, discovered the truth about who my father really is, gained a whole new family, awakened spiritually, and evolved into the woman I am today.

That is a lot to celebrate, right? And so also in that time, I started this podcast, which is now in the top 2% of podcasts worldwide. Thank you so much for listening. And it's exciting to imagine what's ahead in this next decade of life. As I shared in the previous episode, Quantum Playing, things are moving faster than ever before for me, in a good way.

I don't feel overwhelmed by the speed of it. I have got a beautiful balance between the doing and the being. It's not a speedy energy where I feel like I'm physically moving fast. It's more of a graceful, peaceful energy where time slows down, and yet new and exciting things appear in my life almost instantaneously.

As invitations went out for my birthday party, some of my newer friends here in Ibiza who are 10, even 20 years younger, were actually confused to see the invitation I designed. It said, "Sweet 60," a play on sweet 16. And they were like, "Wait, what? You're, you're not 60." One even demanded that I show her my passport to prove it.

And they've all asked me, "What's your secret?" And my quick answer always is, "I don't mess with my face." I think a lot of women actually look older when they use Botox and fillers and lip enhancers to try to look younger. But there is a longer answer to my secret, and I'll share that here in this podcast.

And as usual, I'll start with a little story. Here we go. Episode 81. It was the summer of two thousand and nine. Luca had gifted me a voucher to Harvey Nichols department store in London, and I was redeeming it at their very high-end hairdressers. I'd booked in for a special hair treatment I'd read about in the Sunday Time Style section.

It promised to make my dry hair shiny and bouncy and gorgeous. I arrived for my appointment, but they'd screwed up the time. I'd have to wait a couple of hours. But to make it up to me, they'd give me a voucher to take to their new skincare clinic. I could have a free skin consultation while I waited for my hair appointment.

Well, that sounds good. So I headed over there and was shown to a clinical room to wait for the consultant. I was sat directly in front of a mega magnifying mirror while I waited. I could see every pore, every pigment and wrinkle magnified to, like, ten times. I'd never even noticed this stuff before. Geez, this is what I look like?

I was forty-three at the time. The consultant walked in just as I was stretching out my right eyebrow, a look of horror on my face at some particularly deep wrinkles there. He told me he could take care of those right there and then. Huh? How? By using a filler Now, you have to remember, this was two thousand and nine, seventeen years ago.

I very honestly did not know what a filler was, except for that white stuff in the tube you use to fill in grouting on bathroom tiles. I guess I imagined he must have a tube of some kind of cream that he put in there to fill in those wrinkles. He told me the price. I kinda gulped, but with my magnified wrinkles still staring me down in that mirror, I found myself agreeing to it.

He led me to a reclining chair like you'd find at a dentist. I laid back, closed my eyes, and then I felt a sharp prick right above my right eyebrow. I jolted and opened my eyes, and I saw a needle. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. What's going on?" He stopped. I sat up. "Is that Botox?" He said, "Yes." And I said, "You never said anything about Botox."

I'd recently read about a big trend of women getting some kind of poison injected into their faces, even parties where friends get together and all get it done by the same doctor. I'd said to my husband how ridiculous I found it. I remember specifically saying, "Why would you eat organic food and then directly inject poison into your body?"

It made no sense to me, and here I was doing it. The doctor explained that this was a filler, and since he'd already opened the pack and had already started putting it in, I'd need to pay for it anyway, so he may as well finish so he could do it properly. I was mortified, but I let him finish. I paid and went up for my hair appointment.

That evening, when Luca returned home from work, I said nothing about getting accidental Botox. The doctor said the effects would be visible in a few days, so I decided just to wait and see if it was noticeable. And in a few days, it was noticeable all right. My right eyelid completely drooped. I couldn't even put on eye makeup properly.

The whole eyelid kind of collapsed. I can't remember how long that lasted, but somehow I managed to hide it from Luca. I felt so stupid. I didn't wanna see any friends. I went around wearing sunglasses all the time. I turned my face away from Luca if he was asking me something. And I remember eventually the drooping eyelid was gone, and those forehead wrinkles were gone, too, just in time for our trip to Ibiza with friends.

We were all having a lovely lunch at a beach restaurant. I remember it was a big round table, maybe eight of us, and as I was telling a story to a friend on my right, she stopped me midway and said, "Wait a minute," and smiled a very mischievous smile. "Do this." And she raised her eyebrows up and down. I did it, and I guess my eyebrows didn't go up and down because she suddenly said in a voice loud enough for others at the table to hear, "You've had Botox!"

Luca stopped talking and looked at me shocked. We never keep secrets from each other. I was like a rabbit in the headlights. I tried to explain that I'd had this accidental Botox during my hair appointment, and it sounded just as ridiculous as it was. I was truly mortified and later very upset with my friend, but I never told her why.

Uh, I can look back on this whole thing now with a wiser perspective. I was forty-three back when I fell for all of this. You know, reading a magazine article enticing me to get an expensive hair treatment, going for the free skincare consultation, my naivety around fillers, and lack of confidence to say, "No, I will not be paying for something that you did not explain to me properly, and I don't care if you've already opened the product."

Now, at age sixty, my BS detector is sharpened, and I don't read magazines or fall for beauty trends. I don't go chasing after this season's must-have anything. I don't follow beauty influencers on social media, none of that. And I know now how I'd handle a friend treating me like that at a lunch. That's the beauty of growing older and wiser and more discerning.

So aside from the fact that I don't mess with my face, what else are my secrets to looking and feeling younger? Here's a list of 10 things in a very random order. Number one, I'm happy. A genuine smile looks good on everyone. I laugh a lot. I'll laugh at my own jokes if I don't find anything else funny.

And laugh lines are far more flattering than frown lines, for sure. Number two, I've never smoked, and I've never even tried a cup of coffee in my life, and I don't know if that's actually made any difference, but maybe. I like to think so. Number three, I meditate every morning. And come to think of it, I started that ritual 10 years ago, just when I was turning 50.

I always relax my forehead as I meditate and again throughout the day, so I'm sure that naturally helps with forehead lines. You know, even in this podcast, at the end of every episode, I say, "Dear listener, relax your forehead." I'm very into relaxing the forehead because it drops you out of the thinking mind, stops you from worrying if you notice that you're on a downward spiral.

So if you ever wonder why I always say, "Dear listener, relax your forehead," it's just what I do all the time. Number four, I wash my face and moisturize every single night before bed without fail, no matter how tired I am. No particular products I recommend. I chop and change. But what I didn't do when I was younger and wish I had now was moisturize my neck.

My neck has aged faster than my face. I also wish I'd always worn a sunscreen on my upper chest. My upper chest and my neck have aged faster than my face, for sure. So wear a sunscreen on your face, neck, and your chest, and moisturize there, girls. That's my advice for those younger than me. Number five, I wear makeup.

I definitely look younger on days I wear makeup. I stopped wearing foundation once I discovered an amazing CC cream. I was given a free sample of it about seven or eight years ago from Space NK, it's a shop in the UK. And I remember they put a little sample in the bag, and I used it. I was so impressed by it that I immediately went back and bought a whole tube, and I've continued over the last seven or eight years to continue to buy tubes of this.

A tiny amount goes a really long way, so a tube lasts me ages. If you're wondering the name of it, it's, it's a French Korean product, and it's called Erborian, E-R-B-O-R-I-A-N, Erborian CC cream. And it goes on quite white, and then it adapts to your skin tone, and it just evens out the complexion. It kind of does this blur effect, and it gives a healthy glow.

I absolutely love it. And I also do one quick coat of mascara, L'Oréal Telescopic Lift. And I do a smudge of MAC eyeshadow in kind of a beige color. I just find that just doing a little bit of that on my, on my eyelid really quick with just even my finger just, like, lifts up my eyes. And then my product that I have bought on repeat for 30 years now is a MAC lip liner, and the color is Spice.

And I can just outline my lips, kind of fill it in a little bit with the pencil, and either just wear it like that or put, like, a l- any color lipstick over it. And it makes the lipstick last, and it just... I don't know, it just defines my lips. I've never felt like I need to do any kind of a lip treatment or anything 'cause I just...

It kind of gives me that nice defined lip look. And if I'm going out on a date night or a party, I will do a full face of makeup. To me, this is one of the biggest benefits of being a woman. If a man looks tired, that's just how he's gotta look. A woman, she can put on some makeup, either a little bit or a lot.

She can completely revive her whole look, or she can just put on a little bit of something, like I was saying, and just suddenly just look a little bit more... I don't know, we can just always use a bit of makeup. It's, it's like my favorite thing. And that's probably why I look different in different photos.

I kind of scroll through my Instagram and I go, "Oh, wow, I look different in different photos." I never use filters in photos. If I look different, it's all down to lighting and if I'm wearing... what kind of makeup I'm wearing, if I'm wearing a lot or a little or none Number six, I eat healthy. I'm not into takeaways or fast food.

And here in Ibiza, it's not like in the USA or the UK where you can walk into a supermarket and buy meals all ready to go. You have to cook here. We live a three-minute walk to the local fruit and veg market, and we buy whatever's fresh and seasonal, and we try to buy local. And we buy our meat and fish from the market, so it's not prepackaged and filled with any preservatives.

Number seven, I work out three times a week without fail, and I'll add in something more if I've got time, but three weeks is my non-negotiable. I f- schedule my fitness at the start of each week. I think I started doing that in my forties, and I stick to it. When it's scheduled in, I stick to it. I had a bone density scan three years ago that showed quite severe osteoporosis.

I'll admit I didn't take it too seriously at the time. I probably could've, but my scan the following year showed it was even worse, so I suddenly sat up and paid attention. I went to a Spanish doctor in Ibiza on a day that I'd just listened to a podcast about osteoporosis. It was with a leading US doctor.

And so I went in and I told the doctor, "Wow, I just listened to this podcast and I'm now gonna start weight training with heavy weights and jumping to help strengthen my bones." And this doctor was horrified. She's like, "No, no, no, no, no, your bones are fragile. Only swimming and yoga, very gentle exercise."

And, like, I literally walked out. It's like, that's the thing. These old school doctors learn this about osteoporosis way back in medical school, and the research since then shows the complete opposite. I must build up muscle to build up bone. I now have a personal trainer. His name is Wes. Wes Personal Training Ibiza, shout out.

He trains me hard twice a week, and I am lifting heavy. I started in January, so it's been eight months, and he keeps increasing my weights, like, slowly but steadily, and it's quite astounding how heavy I can lift now by just steadily increasing. And I do spinning for my cardio at an amazing outdoor spinning place set in Orange Grove at a horse stables.

We wear personal headsets, and Naomi plays the best music. Big shout out to Naomi and Will at Oran Ibiza. If you're ever coming to Ibiza and you wanna try this outdoor spinning, it's called Oran Ibiza. Amazing. And Wes, my personal trainer, also runs a weekly beach boot camp. So I love my exercise, and I need variety, and I do love exercising outside.

I'm realizing now how many years I went to a gym and just kinda went through the motions. And now that I don't belong to a gym and I'm kinda ad hocking it, I'm enjoying it so much more. And I also do hiking and stand-up paddle and all kinds of things like that. Anyway, my hope is that my next bone density scan will show an improvement or at least a steady holding this time.

I was told HRT is really good for bone health after menopause, so rather than taking the osteoporosis medication, which I've heard is really severe and I didn't wanna do that, I've decided instead to go with the hormone replacement. And yeah, this year I've gotten much more serious about my protein intake and my supplements too.

I'm taking creatine daily and several more supplements. I've got one of those seven-day pill boxes like grannies have, and I've got my vitamins all in there, and, um, that help... that reminds me just to take them every day. And, um, one more thing I wanna mention on the osteoporosis is I-- last year I said to my friend and my Kundalini teacher, Nicole, "Well, with my osteoporosis..."

And she stopped me right there. She said, "It's the osteoporosis, not my osteoporosis." She said, "As soon as you claim it as yours, your body is telling you that. It'd be the same if you experienced migraines or even if you have a cold or a sore throat. Don't say my migraines or my cold or my sore throat." I have changed my language ever since she said that, so passing this on to you too.

Number eight, my next secret to feeling younger is that I have never stopped dancing. Being married to a DJ does help. We have DJ decks in our living room, and of course, living in Ibiza, everyone of all ages dances. I don't love nightclubs anymore, but I do really enjoy opportunities for an outdoor daytime or evening boogie.

Number nine, I forgot to mention earlier sleep, and that should've been, like, way up there. I mean, I love sleep. I love my bed. I've now got bedding that I just absolutely love. It's, uh, it's an investment, and it's, like, so worth it. Um, I have a strict no tech after 10:00 rule for myself. So after 10:00 PM, no tech.

I think I started that a few... It was definitely in the last decade. I don't get caught up in late night scrolling because of this rule or binging on series because I'm not gonna start another episode if I can't finish it by 10:00. So my phone has... My iPhone's got that bed- bedtime reminder, and it's set for 10:00 PM, and that's my signal to go and wash my face and to get ready for bed, and I always read in bed.

It is so nice to crawl into bed with nice sheets and a book I love. Very annoyingly, once I reached the age that I no longer had to be up with the kids on a school morning and could actually sleep in as late as I want, I bounce awake at 6:00 or 7:30-- uh, no, about 6:00 or 6:30 AM now. Really don't make it past 6:30 very rarely.

The HRT has definitely been helping with at least sleeping later. Before I was wide awake at 4:00 AM. That was driving me crazy. Um, but now I am, yeah, managing to make it till about 6:00 or 6:30. So that's when I do my morning meditation and my journaling. Alcohol really affects my sleep, and even two glasses of wine makes me wake up at 4:00 needing to pee and feeling dehydrated and struggling to fall back asleep.

So I am a very mindful drinker now. I did a whole podcast episode last year about this. And finally, we reach number 10. I credit my ongoing focus on personal and spiritual growth with keeping me young in mind, body, and spirit. I use the Project Me Life Wheel tool that I developed in my 40s to check in with all areas of my life regularly to see what's working and what's not, and I live a very well-balanced life.

I practice Kundalini yoga weekly, I do meditation daily, and I love to dabble in many forms of healing modalities, as I have shared throughout this podcast. I have a higher perspective now that allows me to see my challenges as gifts or as opportunities to learn and to grow. I understand myself as a vibrational being, and I know how to raise my frequency.

I don't get caught up in low vibrational thought trains. I can switch gears quite easily now. And living in a higher vibration means I don't attract people or things to me that are in a lower vibration, so it's really interesting. Things have just fallen away that haven't been a vibrational match to me, and yeah, it's, um, it's really quite amazing.

And then, yeah, I'll have an emotional outburst, and then it's just moved right out of me. It's like I will... I'm, I am emotional. You know, I'll burst into tears or I'll shout or something, but it just, like, it's something like it just moves out of me so quickly now. It's incredible. Uh, I don't hang on to anger or resentment I feel very content, very fulfilled.

I live with deep gratitude in my heart and with awe and wonder. I'm always walking around at, at everything and just going, "Wow, look at that. Wow." I just walk around with awe and wonder, and I have a real openness about me, definitely. So that is my list of 10 secrets to looking and feeling younger. See why my quick answer is always, "I don't mess with my face"?

There is an Instagram account I do follow for inspiration to embrace aging, former supermodel Paulina Porizkova. I think that's how you say her name. Remember her? She was this supermodel, Paulina. Just go and look, look her up, and you'll see who I mean. You'll go, "Oh, yeah, her." Her Instagram's amazing. I love her no filters, no fillers, natural approach to aging, and I think it's important to find role models like this if you do still care about how you look, 'cause I definitely do.

I wanna look my best, but I don't wanna succumb to societal norms about having no wrinkles or having to look a certain way as you get older, and I think she's just really great for that. I see that she does have regular facials, and I do keep telling myself that since I don't spend the money on procedures, I ought to at least treat myself to nice facials, but I'm not very good yet at following through on that.

Maybe that will be something in my 60s that I start to get into. And now, as I move into becoming 60-something, I'm aware that I'm soon entering the crone phase of a woman's life. Many Native American tribes view this as a time when a woman becomes a wise woman or a spiritual elder. The Lakota people, for example, believe that when a woman no longer menstruates, she holds all of her wisdom within her.

Her energy no longer spent on reproduction can be directed outward to the community. She becomes a keeper of stories, traditions, and healing practices. Even with Wiccan traditions, the transition to the crone phase is a celebrated rite of passage. I love that. Right now, I feel like I'm firmly in the queen stage, a woman embracing her inner power and authority.

At this stage, with older children, I can now focus on my personal passions and achievements. The queen navigates her responsibilities with more wisdom. She sets clear boundaries, and she teaches others through her life's experiences. In this phase, she starts to connect with the wisdom of the crone. And the crone is a woman of profound wisdom, reflecting a lifetime of experience.

No longer bound by the demands of youth, she can turn inward, allowing space for deep understanding, spiritual growth, and creativity. Bring it on, I say. I have no fears or concerns about growing older when I know I can embody the queen now and the crone next. It's the natural evolution, and there's no point in fighting against reality.

Okay, let's see. How long are we going here? You know, I was gonna share a bit about my recent experience of attending Medicine Festival in England, but I haven't even unpacked yet, and my bag and my clothes are filled with straw. It was so hot and so dry that all the beautiful grounds, all the rolling green hills were just parched.

It was just straw, and just came back with straw everywhere. And so, yeah, I haven't unpacked yet, and I haven't really processed it all yet, and I feel like this episode is probably getting a bit long as it is, so I'm gonna save that for next time.

Dear listener, relax your forehead. Take a long, slow, deep breath in And let it out with a sigh No matter what age you are right now, imagine that you have opened up a photo album and are looking at pictures of yourself from 20 years ago

See those images in your mind's eye

At that time, did you ever look in the mirror and think you looked old? A lot of us felt old turning thirty. Yet twenty years later, they look at a photo of themselves at thirty and say, "Wow, I looked so young." That is exactly how you'll feel twenty years from right now when you look at a photo of you taken now.

You will wonder why you didn't fully appreciate the age you are right now. Embrace the age you are right now Feel gratitude in your heart for being blessed with another year of life

Thank you for listening to the Project Meat Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend. If you're not yet receiving my Soulful Love Notes newsletter, you can subscribe on my website, kellypietrangeli.com. My booking calendar is wide open for Zoom soul plan sessions throughout September.

Knowing your soul plan is such a gift for helping you to live in full alignment with who you truly are and what you came here to do. If you're feeling like you haven't yet fulfilled your potential or you're feeling a little lost, knowing your soul plan can really shift that. When booking, you're asked to provide your full name as it appears on your birth certificate.

Every letter of your birth name carries a sound frequency which I translate into your soul plan chart. And then in our session together, we move through each area of your chart until the full picture is created. It's a powerful unfolding that ends with an energetic clearing of what is no longer needed and then I future pace you into embodying your talents, your goals, and soul destiny.

It's quite an experience. If your soul is calling you towards this, book in for a session on my website, kellypietrangeli.com. Until next time, open your mind, open your heart, and stay curious. We all need some space in our lives for the magical and unknown